Love Languages 101: Cracking the Code to Better Relationships

Ladies, have you ever felt like you are giving your all in a relationship, only to feel like it is not being noticed? Picture this: you light candles, cook your man’s favourite meal, set the table just right, and wait. And then, instead of the warm, fuzzy reaction you imagined, he thanks you politely and asks if you remembered to pay the electric bill.

Ouch! It is frustrating, right? Here is the thing, it is not that he does not love you. It might just be that the two of you are speaking different love languages.

What Are Love Languages?

Let me introduce you to a game-changer: Dr. Gary Chapman’s “5 Love Languages.” This guy cracked the relationship code. The idea is simple, we all have different ways of giving and receiving love. When you understand your love language (and your partner’s) it can save you a lot of misunderstandings and even bring you closer.

So, what are these love languages? There are five of them, and while we can appreciate all of them, most of us have one or two that hit the spot. Let me break it down for you.

Words of Affirmation

For some of us, words are everything. A kind compliment, a little encouragement, or even hearing “I love you” can make our day. If this is your love language, it is not about being needy, it is about feeling seen through words. On the flip side, harsh criticism, or thoughtless comments? That is like a dagger to the heart.

How to show it:

·       Send sweet “thinking of you” texts.

·       Leave little love notes around the house (on the mirror, in his bag, anywhere).

·       Celebrate their wins—even the small ones.

Acts of Service

Now, for some of us, actions truly speak louder than words. If this is your love language, hearing “I’ll handle that for you” is better than a hundred “I love yous.” It’s about the effort—washing the dishes, fixing that annoying door, or making breakfast. These little acts say, “I care about you.”

How to show it:

·       Help with things without being asked (especially the things they hate doing).

·       Share the load—errands, chores, whatever makes their life easier.

·       Be consistent. Small, thoughtful actions add up.

Receiving Gifts

Okay, let us clear this up—this love language is not about being materialistic. It is not the price of the gift that matters; it is the thought behind it. For some of us, a little surprise (even if it is just our favourite snack) can make us feel so special. It’s proof you were thinking of them.

How to show it:

·       Surprise them with something thoughtful—even a handwritten note or a small treat.

·       Remember important dates and make them feel special.

·       Pay attention to the little things they mention wanting or liking.

Quality Time

If this is your love language, all you want is time. Not just being around each other, but really being present. No phones, no distractions—just you and them, doing something meaningful or even just chilling together.

How to show it:

·       Schedule date nights or moments where you can focus only on each other.

·       Put your phone away during conversations (I know, it’s hard, but it works!).

·       Plan activities you both enjoy—it doesn’t have to be fancy, just intentional.

Physical Touch

For some of us, nothing says “I care” more than physical closeness. Hugs, holding hands, or even just sitting close while watching TV can make us feel deeply connected. And no, it’s not just about intimacy—it’s about warmth and reassurance.

How to show it:

·       Hug often (and not just the quick, awkward kind).

·       Hold hands, sit close, or give a little back rub when they are stressed.

·       Be intentional about physical connection during the day.

Ladies, we often show love the way we want to be loved. If your love language is, say, physical touch, and your partner’s is acts of service, there is a chance you’re both feeling disconnected.

Imagine buying expensive gifts for someone who just wants to spend time with you. Or helping with chores when all they want is to hear “You’re amazing.” Understanding each other’s love languages can change the game in relationships—not just romantic ones but with friends, siblings, and even colleagues.

Think about what makes you feel most loved and appreciated:

·       Is it hearing kind words or compliments? (Words of Affirmation)

·       Is it when someone helps or takes a burden off your plate? (Acts of Service)

·       Do thoughtful gifts light up your day? (Receiving Gifts)

·       Is it all about spending quality, undivided time together? (Quality Time)

·       Or do you feel most connected through physical closeness? (Physical Touch)

Once you know yours, share it with your loved ones and encourage them to figure out theirs. Trust me, it makes all the difference.

Love languages are about one thing: learning to love each other the way we need to be loved. Once you crack the code, you will wonder why you did not figure this out sooner. So, what is your love language? And what about your partner, sister, or bestie? Let’s start loving better ladies. You’ve got this!